ADDICTED

I grew up in bondage to a lie, 

not just one, but a thousand or more, 

that evil is pleasure and good and right 

and that I "deserve" to get high. 

My addiction to "stay high" grew by the dozens, 
my carnal need to please me and man is why;

alcohol, 
attention, 
shopping, 
perfection, 
relationships, 
food and starvation, 
exercise,
drugs and shameful lying,
jealousy,
resentment and selfish striving.

All about me... 
All about me...
ALL ABOUT ME!

Until the day God spoke deep into my heart, a beholding voice, I was struck, 

"You deserve My punishment for the evil you do, you really only deserve death."

I couldn't deny His judgement, He was right, I couldn't be more wrong, 

I fell to my knees in remorseful abandon,

 

"I t    i s    YOU   w h o   a r e   g o o d,   LORD,   n o t   I." 

His mercy gently led my grieving heart to hear His truth about me, 

He opened my eyes and showed me His Son, 

and in light of my own life, 

I fell down,

undone.

He lifted me out of the mire,

in sin sludge I once felt so warm, 

He showed me His judgement upon me was paid,

my punishment hung on the Cross.

I've been saved from wicked lies and addictions, 

from the thief of hell's destiny, 

God saved me from my most deceitful attraction, 

the mind and heart of me.

Heaven's sanctifying work still pruning, 

by grace as the Savior will expose, 

Christ is the Author and Perfecter of my fate,

the devil no longer runs the show.

Why can't their ears hear, 

and why can't their eyes see? 

It wasn't I, 

but Christ who freed me.

Call me a self-righteous Jesus freak, 

a hypocrite or worse,  

what matters most is I've been saved by Grace, 

from God's judgement, death and sin's curse.

One day all motives will be revealed, 

so I'll get it all out right now, 

my dark heart no longer hides from light, 

in Christ is where it is found. 

First born a sinner to the father of lies, 

I was a doer of no good, no ability to reform; 

yet, by Sovereign grace God called me by name, 

no longer "enemy", 

but,

"Beloved",reborn.

 

He opened my heart and I received His Son,

 

by faith, 

no longer led to the slaughter;

He is the LORD, the King of all kings 

and I am His daughter.

Today, He leads me by still waters,

 

in His presence I find true peace,

 

sin and death no longer own my life,

 

I'm born again, addicted to Christ.

“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it? “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds." 

JEREMIAH 17:9-10

"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.  And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation. 

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned— " ROMANS 5:6-12

(photo credit)

(photo credit)

An Open Letter to Me

                                                              
ear Child,






I AM the light. 
I AM the way. 
I AM the truth. 


You can trust this more than you can trust your next breath.
I light the way for you, not by showing you where you are going, but by being the way for you.
You and I, our wills, our plans, our destinations, and desires may very well be the same. I AM happy to reveal to you My perfect plans and desires for your life. And I AM pleased when you trust Me with My choices in all circumstances. 
The problem is, My precious little Child, you want to know how, when, why, where, and when My choices for will happen. 
I understand.
This is your nature, a part of character right now. You want to be prepared, and this is good. But, you also want to be in control, and this is not good-this is not My way.
If I tell you every detail of My will, every step in My plans, and every road for which you must take, you may not agree with My way, you may not want to follow, you may not want to go with Me all the way. 


My will for you is all things means full investment. 
Time.
Energy.
Commitment.
Obedience.
Trust.
Death.
In these things, your flesh is not willing to give Me.


My way for you is a journey. 
Sometimes hard. 
Sometimes painful.
And you may not agree with the roads we must take or the length they may require; you grow weary and bored and discontent just at the thought of seemingly monotonous scenery and exhausting terrain you may need to endure. Because of this I must keep My plans to Myself much of the time. But, please be assured, it is I who goes the distance for you.
If you let Me.


You can trust that I will never have you go places I've not gone before you and I will never ask you to do anything that I've not arranged ahead of time. And you can trust that I AM with you. You can do this because I've given you My Spirit to do so. 


My dear One, you call Me your Immanuel. Do you believe this?


If you believe with all your heart, your mind, and soul, and strength that I AM God, the Mighty Creator of the heavens and the earth, of life and love, that I AM Sovereign over all things, and that I love you enough to die for you, then you can trust Me when I ask you to follow Me with your eyes closed. I will not allow you to stumble or fall as long as you abide in Me. As long as you walk in Me. If you don't you may get ahead of Me because your natural eyes see an "Emerald City" in the distance. You are easily distracted by and swayed toward pretty things. These things take your eyes off Me and this hurts Me; because you call Me "Beautiful".

Just as well, you may fall behind, far behind, and lose your way (My way), because you tend to put your trust in your own energy and strength to keep up with Me. 

My beloved, I urge you to resist the temptation to move ahead of Me or to try to keep up in your own strength. Once again, I have given you My Spirit to be still and quiet when need be, and His power to make you stand up, step out and move forward when I say. I have also made available to you My wisdom to know the difference. I AM your Master, I AM your Guide, I AM your Rock, I AM your LORD. I AM your God.

What prevents you from abiding in this truth? What prevents you from allowing Me to be in charge? What causes you to question My course? To not trust Me?

Submit to Me, O Child of Mine. You have nothing to lose,  except your way.

                                                                                                   

I love you,

Abba

"I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." Hebrews 8:20