Thursday, April 14, 2011


I am so tired of being strong.
Strong for myself is more than enough,

It is too much at times.

The wars I have fought, stripped naked of secure purity white
Exposed, invited evil, death and sin multiplied.

Knuckles grip tight to sheets covering young helpless innocence, Set apart for Him.
So tired of being strong, my heart screams loud,
For God to help me hold on.

Safe haven boundaries torn down and chastity defile,
Forgotten child-like smile;
Desperate hands of purity survival build strong walls of  Resentment and false love, suspicious eyes.

Lost people, wicked leisures, this child must bear,
I am tired.

I am lonely.
Who is out there?
Who cares?

My heart is written, in Word, in blood
I am His, I am holy, to the end of days, He says.
O, my God, please forgive me, I'm perverted by his ways.

Tired of being strong, choosing right, ending wrong;
Tired of leaning on worthless rules, or morals,

Ya, that's what they're called.
Tired of encouraging deaf ears, blind eyes,
Tired of warring for holiness sake,

I am weak,
I am weak.

Hold your head up, stop crying, get over it,
It's time to enjoy the day;
But I can't remember how it goes, to live and to play.

I am so tired of being weak,
Given into self and to lie, unbelief, sin hard;
I can't do this, I need Jesus, to stand strong, to war on.

I wonder if I am a fraud, prodigal perfectionist, making laws;
I wonder how long this life will last,
Patience empty, broken path,
It goes on and on..
I wonder if I will make it, running this race, he is after me;
Please, Lord, help me remain in You, and may You always remain in me.

   In You, LORD, I have taken refuge;
   let me never be put to shame.
 In Your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
   turn your ear to me and save me.
 Be my rock of refuge,
   to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
   for You are my rock and my fortress.
 Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
   from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.
  For You have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
   my confidence since my youth.
 From birth I have relied on you;
   You brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
   I will ever praise You.
 I have become a sign to many;
   You are my strong refuge.
 My mouth is filled with Your praise,
   declaring your splendor all day long.
  Do not cast me away when I am old;
   do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
 For my enemies speak against me;
   those who wait to kill me conspire together.
 They say, “God has forsaken him;
   pursue him and seize him,
   for no one will rescue him.”
 Do not be far from me, my God;
   come quickly, God, to help me.
 May my accusers perish in shame;
   may those who want to harm me
   be covered with scorn and disgrace.
  As for me, I will always have hope;
   I will praise You more and more.
  My mouth will tell of Your righteous deeds,
   of Your saving acts all day long—
   though I know not how to relate them all.
 I will come and proclaim Your mighty acts, Sovereign LORD;
   I will proclaim Your righteous deeds, Yours alone.
 Since my youth, God, You have taught me,
   and to this day I declare Your marvelous deeds.
 Even when I am old and gray,
   do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
   Your mighty acts to all who are to come.
  Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
   You who have done great things.
   Who is like you, God?
 Though You have made me see troubles,
   many and bitter,
   You will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
   You will again bring me up.
 You will increase my honor
   and comfort me once more.
  I will praise you with the harp
   for Your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to You with the lyre,
   Holy One of Israel.
 My lips will shout for joy
   when I sing praise to You—
   I whom you have delivered.
 My tongue will tell of Your righteous acts
   all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
   have been put to shame and confusion.

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
PSALM 51:7

1 comment:

  1. Praise our faithful God!
    Lord, help us to abide in You. Dim shelter everywhere else.