"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Saturday, February 5, 2011
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME
It's been nearly 12 months since we received the results of Rick's abnormal white blood cell count, 10 weeks since he left PICC line and IVs at City of Hope.
How is it that a man discovers, battles and recovers from stage 4 blood cancer in under a year?
Only minor residue is currently present of this enemy attack.
Where there is a head without hair, there is peace and gratitude that covers.
A few extra Rx supportive of immune system remain where new stem cells have knocked out need for blood pressure medication.
Monthly follow-ups assessing recovery.
I never thought, to go through something that is meant to terrify, would reward so greatly.
The goal was remission, healing.
It always is.
But, what happens when a man walks away from a war with mortality, and is more alive than before he entered battle?
I've heard stories of soldiers who've come home, after standing face to face with the enemy. It's hard to forget. It's
impossible to forget. This head-on collision with death threats and terror seep deep into the earth of the soul.
Like war, cancer lives to destroy body, mind and hope.
Is it possible to walk away and only [remember] the miracles, the goodness, the blessing of it all?
Rick is more than a cancer patient in remission. He is also a heartpatient in the hands of the Greatest Physician, the Lord Jesus Christ. As we prayed and prayed and still pray for complete healing, this is what continues. The renewing grace of a willing heart. A heart of flesh, a softer, more tender heart, molding to the will of the Creator.
The evidence of this heart surgery supersedes all things cancer attempts to destroy in our home. Each of us, a family of heart
patients under the lancet of the LORD, look forward, not back, living in today, with more love, more peace, more gratitude, and more purpose knowing more than ever, our only hope is Jesus.
Exodus 14:14 says, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Stillness in the storm.
Today, life is calmer.
Rick's last follow-up appointment, January 27, went well. Blood levels on track, with a favorable 5 lb. weight gain. His "100th day" soon approaches. This means new assessments. Dr. Nade has ordered a PT Scan for the end of February. We are praying for clear results-continued remission. He is doing better than ever, Praise God! I testify to this with amazement and joy! His energy and strength allow for business, family time, exercise and church commitments. Also, looking forward to a family trip to New York this summer. God is so good!
I take rest in the calm He provides today.
But, my mind thinks hard on those around us who are fighting similar battles. Some not fairing as easily. My heart cries for the mother whose beautiful little girl fights for her last days, for the mourning children and adoring husband of the sick young mother and wife left behind.
How is it that one man has victory over disease and another doesn't?
I ask God this often. Why has He given me peace? Why has He allowed my husband to be healed? Why has He blessed my familythis way?
Rick came home today talking about an interview he listened to on the radio. About a pastor who recently led a Christian missionary team to Egypt. In the midst of the political protests and riots, the tour guide cocked his ooze as he desperately scrambled to get his group to safety. The team was led to the airport where thousands of people, including American citizens, piling and pushing, elbowing their way through, racing for flights [unavailable]. Lost in all of the media scramble is one of the most frightening major reasons for these riots: Christian Persecution. I contrast this with Skyler's recent mission trip to Haiti. A foreigner in a foreign land amongst tens of thousands of Haitians crowding the streets. The day of the one year anniversary of Haiti's devastating quake was profoundly celebrated with dancing and singing by the people, all for the glory of Jesus Christ.
How is it that one man faces persecution and death in warfare while another receives blessing of joy and revival?
Regardless of the person, place or thing, His explanation rings the same to me: "Its not about you. Or your family. Or the others, those suffering, mourning, even rejoicing. Just as it's not about the wars, the riots or the cancer. Search deeper-- It's about My glory, My plan. It's about My Son."
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Jesus Christ." Rom. 8:28, Eph. 1:9 Every life, every circumstance, divinely purposed.
For the first time in my life, peace replaces fear. I find peace in learning to understand and embrace that suffering if part of living,
part of growing. A very big part. An very important part.
We don't know what tomorrow has for us, but we do know who we can count on today for our tomorrows--the One who is the same yesterday, today and forever.
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD